epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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