they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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