another moral hangover. fuck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
