I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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