Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
