What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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