Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
