I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
