He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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