I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
is wine microwaveable?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
