bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
