can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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