if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
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