**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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