wat bout pragnant strippers??
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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