That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
