He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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