you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
