woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
