I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
