No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I touched a dick in church today
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
