I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
