I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
