My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
