I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
