remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
