There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
