I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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