he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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