YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
