***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
