someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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