woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
