If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
