i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
