This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
