Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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