please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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