normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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