It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
