My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
