Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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