Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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