this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
well you can't waste a boner
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
