Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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