i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we made out on top of his cat.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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