just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
