Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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