I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
