Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wish there were birth control emojis
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
